It's been over a month, but I promised a devotional series and I'm coming through with that promise. I was hesitant to post them before because I didn't think that they were good enough or ready yet, but here they are (completed to the best of my current abilities.)
If I've failed to mention this before, I have anxiety. I'm proud to say it's gotten better than it used to be, but it's still something that I deal with on a daily basis. With anxiety though, comes panic attacks, or high-anxiety days, where my emotional state becomes slightly more fragile and my physical being becomes more tense. It's all manageable, but for those of you who don't know exactly what it feels like, let me explain what it feels like for me;
I get to a point where I don't want to be touched or talked to, and then I stop talking to other people. Sometimes I don't want to move, but then other days I get all fidgety. Sometimes when it's really bad, my body shuts down. I lose feeling in my limbs and then I can't seem to move them, but I still can feel when people touch me, I just can't physically respond to what them.
When that happens though, my immediate response is to turn on my slow worship playlist on Spotify. I have a handful of songs on there that calm me down and give me space to just breathe.
One of my favorite lyrics from that playlist is, "there's a peace far beyond all understanding," which is a lyric in Hillsong's song PEACE. This song paints a beautiful picture of the peace that God's name brings and that we have nothing to fear because of his love and patience for us. In the second verse of the song, they sing, "My Jehovah Shalom." Not knowing the full meaning of that phrase, I looked it up, breaking apart each word.
My, as in myself, but in a possessive way.
Jehovah, as in the Hebrew name that is used to refer to God in some translations of the Bible.
And Shalom, used as a salutation by Jews at parting or meeting, meaning "peace."
So in more simpler terms, Jehovah Shalom can be translated to God of Peace.
In Philippians 4, Paul writes this long letter while he's in jail. Despite his circumstances though, he's at peace in his prison cell. Here, Paul's words are better than mine.
"Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let your petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life."
Paul continues on in Philippians 4 that God provides and Paul reminds us, as humans, to be content regardless of our circumstances. It's crazy. Like- if Paul can sit in prison and wait and write letters as a testament to his faith, why can't we?
The Jehovah Shalom that provided for Paul way back then is the same Jehovah Shalom that provides for us now and today. So why does He feel so hard to trust?
In the Bible, time and time again, God proves himself as the Jehovah Shalom, bringing peace where it's needed the most, but as I doubt, sometimes I wonder if He's so good, then why can't He bring peace now; when there are natural disasters and shootings and tension everywhere we go?!
The answer to that question, is that it's all on God's time. So as frustrating as that can be for people with little patience, we need to learn to put our faith in Him, much like Paul, because He's going to provide, whether it's on our time or not.
So with that said, that's kinda my thought process on Jehovah Shalom and what that means or looks like. I have more posts coming too, I just can't promise how soon they'll be ready and/or posted because all that planning takes a lot out of me. But they're coming! Promise!
Much Love,
Delaney Miller