This is going to sound very arrogant, but wait for me to elaborate.
I'm gifted.
Okay. Now here's my explanation for why/how this made my list.
I am my toughest critic. I will never admit to myself that I am good enough. I will never admit to myself that a specific audition or callback or performance went exceptionally well. I will be upset for missing that one problem on that one test. I will always find the smallest things and tear myself apart.
I had a conversation with a teacher of mine last week and it did not go how I had planned. I walked in waiting for an outline of what we were going to be working on that day. I came in expecting him to be slightly disappointed that I hadn't completed my homework. I went in expecting a lesson. If you haven't already gotten the memo, that's not what happened. Right after I had walked in and sat down, he turned around in his chair and asked, "How are you?" I'll be honest, even though he asks me this every time I step into his office, he knows how I'm feeling before I say a word because I wear my heart on my sleeve. This day though, was a little bit different. Normally this question is greeted with a shrug and a daily recap of what/s been going in the past 24 hours or so, but this day I couldn't even get out a shrug. I knew I didn't feel good, but I couldn't even figure out what it was that was causing it. My teacher asked me a second time and before I had time to process this question fully, I just started talking. If you've ever talked without processing what you're talking about, it's a strange feeling. I sat in his chair and just started spilling out everything that was on my mind. Ultimately, it all tied back to me not feeling good enough. We sat in his office for hours just talking about everything that's been going on lately, and just getting reassurance that I am talented enough and that that I am good enough was exactly what I needed.
This made my list because I know that I'm not the only one who does this. I know that some of y'all aren't always your own number one fan. Well you need to take a step back and realize that you have value. Whether you see it or not, I sure do! Today's post is just to remind you that you are good. You are gifted. You are enough.
Much Love,
Delaney Miller