Today I was out hammocking at my local lake and I saw these girls a little ways away walking around the lake. I sat in my hammock thinking to myself, "Dang! Their outfits are super cute! Look at them go, hanging out with one another." & a few minutes later, they paused at a little work out station a couple of yards away from where I was. As they took a break to stretch, this grown, adult man on his bike sped by and whistled at them.
I watched them stop their stretching and all they could do was simply stare at the man who had just catcalled them. As he continued to ride his bike, he passed me and smirked at me while I laid in my hammock.
A few minutes later, the girls continued walking my way and I paused them and said something along the lines of, "Hey, I was what happened-" & before I could even get the rest of my sentence out, the three girls all started speaking at once. All three of them kept saying, "I'm so frustrated," and "The next time this happens I'm going to give hi a piece of my mind," and "What the f***!" They looked like they could have been in high school and to see them react like that brought me anger. Not because I didn't agree, because- HELLO I WAS OVER HERE THINKING THE SAME THING, but because none of us were surprised. There was mutual disgust, but out of the four of us girls, not a single one of us acted surprised.
It's expected at this point. I mean, when I go outside in running shorts or leggings and a shirt that doesn't cover my booty, I get catcalled. When I go outside in a dress that is maybe more skin-tight, I get catcalled. & in all honesty, it doesn't even depend on what I'm wearing. (Look, I don't know how many times I need to say this, but MY OUTFIT and/or WHAT I WEAR does not give you the right to have an opinion on my body.) I've gone outside in jeans and a plain t-shirt before, yet I'm still met with the same misogynistic attitudes. It's disgusting. I'm disgusted.
& to those who want me or want us, as women, to "cover up" or just "throw on something more modest," here is my response: No thank you. I will wear what I feel confident in (whether that's a sweatshirt and sweats or those "magic pants" or whatever you guys call 'em). I will dress up if I want to dress up. I will wear makeup if I want to wear makeup. Not to impress any man, not to impress anyone, not to put on a show, simply because I LIKE IT. I FEEL CONFIDENT IN IT. I FEEL BEAUTIFUL.
But this is what hit me after everything happened: (I'm still in my hammock as I'm writing this by the way, so it really hasn't been all that long,) The prejudice that I was/am feeling is only a FRACTION of what others feel on a daily basis. This post is in no way a comparison, because there is no comparison to be made. There are vast differences between every minority, but the sexism that I'm talking about & what I experience as a white woman is NOTHING compared to my sisters & brothers of color. Intersectionality matters! WOW! Additionally, with the start of Pride Month, I've been directing a lot of my focus towards my pals in the LGBTQIA+ community & it's just made me think. I have no right to be quiet. At all.
I've spent so long trying not to be controversial and choosing not to speak my mind because I didn't want to be "wrong." In my opinion, I think what matters the most is educating yourself so that you're allowed to have an opinion. Because if you're ignorant and you're basing your opinion off of Facebook articles and what those around you say, you're not making your own decisions. That's not cool, my friends. I encourage you to go out and search for those resources to further your education. You have a voice that deserves to be heard, but no one should be listening if you're not doing the hard work you need to do to be a good ally. Ya feel?
With that being said, PLEASE reach out if you're looking for specific resources and I'll do my best to hook you up with what you're looking for. Being educated about what's going on in the world is very important. Not just because I believe it is (which I do hehe,) but because you're a functioning member of society. Even if you don't think that this involves you- it does. The state of our nation, the state of our GLOBE involves each and every one of us because we live here. This is our home. And we better be making is someplace that I'm proud to share with my future children.
Much Love,
Del Miller
P.S. I apologize for any spelling or grammatical errors, I wrote this REAL fast today, but let me know.
Hi there John! I‘m not sure I understand where you’re coming from, but allow me to catch you up to speed. I am NOT an advocate for white privilege, let me make that SUPER CLEAR RIGHT NOW. What I AM saying is that based off of the world that we live in, people with lighter skin are given privileges. What’s harmful is when people who have this privilege use it to further the divide between other races and ethnicities. I’m trying to use my platform and my privilege to educate those who are too ignorant to acknowledge their privilege. I stand by my statement that people who believe they are superior based off of their race are sickening. It‘s horrifying.…
Ah yes, of course, your point is quite clear. However, it is not valid. You see here, a privilege is, according to google, "a special right, advantage, or immunity granted or available only to a particular person or group." To put it in more simpler terms for you, privileges are not given to everyone. Yet you openly advocate "white privilege" while stating that "The fact that there are people in this world who actively believe that they are superior based on their race is sickening."
So, naturally, I was confused. Are you saying you are one of those sickening people?